Unfortunately, far too many parents believe they should stay with their partner because the couple has children together. This can lead to children feeling like their home isn’t a safe space and thinking marriages revolve around conflict with two stressed people. While no one marries thinking they’re going to get divorced, especially after they have children, those who choose to stay in a marriage because of their children may find divorce is the best option for their family. Read on to learn why you shouldn’t stay in a hostile marriage for your kids.
Children Know, Even If You Think They Don’t
A lot of parents think their kids simply don’t know they’re having issues simply because they attempt to keep things private. Without knockdown, drag-out fights, parents think they’re hiding their issues well. Kids, however, know when there’s tension, no matter how hard parents attempt to cover it. Whether quipping at one another or actively avoiding being in the same room with each other, kids can quickly pick up on issues between their parents.
Developmental Effects
When kids are routinely subjected to an unhappy marriage, they can experience adverse effects both in the present and in the future. Kids who grew up in a hostile household have been found to have issues developing positive self-esteem, forming and maintaining relationships and managing their own emotions. When hostile marriages end, both parents can show their child(ren) what constitutes a happy, healthy person.
No More Neglect
Everyone has images of neglect as unwashed, feral children, and while this can certainly happen, most neglect is emotional rather than physical. When parents are focusing on their own problems, they frequently can’t handle their children’s stressors and emotional needs, causing the child to retreat within themselves for comfort. This emotional neglect can lead to a negative self-image and an inability to communicate.
Happier Parents, Happier Kids
When parents who were previously in a hostile marriage separate, they’ll begin to focus on themselves and their own happiness rather than constantly fighting with or avoiding their partner. This leads to happier, healthier parents and kids who get two positive role models rather than two people constantly at each other’s throats. While co-parenting can be a challenge for many families, most will find a balance that works for all parties within a few months, letting children experience a healthy household, sometimes for the first time in their entire lives.
Staying married for the sake of the children can have devastating emotional effects for both parents and children. Choosing to get a divorce may be the best option for all parties involved, with children seeing that two people don’t need to be married to be great parents. If you are considering separating from your spouse, consider mediation. We are the top Denver divorce mediation firm, dedicated to providing you with a streamlined separation process that works for everyone.
